Too Gay or Not Too Gay. That is the question.

So this was the night I met Candace. None of my friends had ever seen her and she was very cute so immediately we start trying to figure out the situation. What’s her name? Who is she friends with? And the all important does she have a boyfriend? Or perhaps a girlfriend? It turns out she came with a friend of a friend of a friend. After our very cursory examination we were pretty sure she was gay. There were some tell tale signs.
Short hair. Velvet jacket. A look that was leaning slightly to the masculine side of feminine. Now this is was makes me proud of us. We did not just take it for granted that she was a lesbian. We are aware that looks can be deceiving and we asked our friend to ask their friend to ask their friend if she was a lesbian. And the results came back straight. And I feel that I should mention now that once you knew she was straight, she definitely looked straight.

So let that be a lesson to you, kids. You can’t tell by looking. The only way to really tell if someone is gay is through a convoluted chain of rumor and hearsay. The American Way.

*I should warn you. I get a little serious after this. I talk about how the brain works. There’s only one joke really and its a little suspect as to its level of funny. If you bore really really easily and you’ve got a plane to catch I’d skip it until you’ve got nothing else to do.*

But seriously our human brains all operate in the same way. We navigate through the world by categorizing things. It is what allows us to see that though a pine tree and an oak tree look completely different from each other they are still both trees. This makes language way simpler. Imagine if we couldn’t categorize and every tree on the planet had a different name. Of course the categorization makes us also think that every black guy in a Ray Lewis jersey (Including Ray Lewis) wants to rob us. So its a double edge sword. I think that for a race that is handicapped by its own hardware, we humans do alright most of the time. Good for us.

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